CHEER UP! IT’S TIME FOR…
Dear Double Fine-I have already purchased several copies of Psychonauts, but I would like to buy more. The problem is I am tired of walking into a store to buy your excellent game, because, what is this? The 1800s? A STORE? I'm sorry, but my dinosaur has the the bubonic plague, and can not give me a ride to your STORE. Nor can he travel back in time to a year where stores were still viable means of selling products. Also, if I buy something in your store it will most likely be made of solid matter which I will have to carry home on my back. Do I look like a burro to you? And do I look like I want to handle filthy, disgusting money in order to purchase the games I want? (Have you ever put a $20 bill under a microscope? It's like a magic carpet ride for E. coli.) Also, if there is an earthquake, your store might fall on top of me. And even if that doesn't happen, I know that there will be strangers in your store--cruel teenagers, maybe--who will pass judgment on my shopping choices.For this, and many other reasons, I am tired of buying Psychonauts in stores, like a dirty, stupid caveman.Here is what I want: I want to sit in my house, possibly in my pajamas, or in nothing at all. And I want the Excellent Game Psychonauts to come to me, moving no solid matter whatsoever. I want information describing every aspect of Psychonauts to enter my home, purely as a coded wave of changing properties, whereupon I will use a machine to transform that information into the greatest interactive experience that civilized man has ever known. That is what I want and if you tell me I cannot have it then I shall end my life this very moment!!!Sincerely,The Entire, Worldwide Gaming PublicHey, hey. Settle down there, gaming public. I think we have what you need. It has just been announced that we are taking the Excellent Game, and making it available on...
That's right. Soon, you will be able to download Psychonauts, in its entirety, for a modest fee, without ever leaving your house! You have a couple of weeks to get ready, so download Steam right now if you don't have it. It's free. And then go to the store and buy a lot of canned food, because you are going to want to stay home for a while.
