FORGET ABOUT THAT STUPID PANDA. AT MY HOUSE: BABY SEA MONKEYS.

So far, only five small monkeys have been spotted. The instructions said it’s important to aerate the water in the beginning, because the monkeys double in size every day. So, I aerated the monkeys this morning, but they did not double in size. They are still the same pitiful, white, twitchy flakes. It’s like watching dandruff swim. But maybe soon they WILL double in size, and then I hope we’ll be able to see their little crowns and pitchforks. And eventually, they’ll be big enough to eat. Hmmm. Delicious monkey meat right in my very own home!