PSYCHONAUTS ON THE XBOX 360!!!

June 13^th 2006

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Omfg is right, kids. The Excellent game Psychonauts running on the XBOX 360 would be just about the coolest thing in the world, wouldn't it?

Unfortunately, I don't know if it's ever going to happen. Whoa, did I just manipulate your emotions?

You know, I have an XBOX 360, and I love it. I love it so much. I wish I could spend every living moment of my life playing it. My wife and I have discussed it, and we've agreed to name our first child, "Geometry Wars." The only thing that could make my XBOX 360 any better is if it would just play this game we made called PSYCHONAUTS.

To this end, I called up the good people at Microsoft and said, "Hello friends. How is the emulator coming along? Will it ever run the Excellent game Psychonauts?"

Believe us, we have top men working on it now," they said.

You know, if it would help, we'd be willing to fly all our engineers up to Seattle, and they'd do all the programming! Or, they could just tell you exactly how our engine works, and we could probably get it running on the 360 in just a few hours!"

TOP... MEN." Is all they said.

So I eagerly awaited this week's announcement of the next 21 games to work under the emulator, but when I saw it I was sad, even though I love Big Mutha Truckers.

So right now I want you to do two things. First, do a Google image search on the phrase, "Best XBOX game ever." What is the first screenshot you see? (Okay, for me, it's Psychonauts. If you get different results, then your Google must be broken.) Clearly, this is irrefutable, mathematical evidence that the very next game the Microsoft emulator team should be working on is Psychonauts!

Okay, here's the second thing: I want you to get up. I want you to walk over to your window right now. I want you to open your window up, and then I want you to stick your head out, and then I want you to take in a nice breath of fresh air, and then I want you to close that window and walk back to your computer and click on this link and send Microsoft a heartfelt message. Something to the effect of, "I am a 9-year-old boy in the hospital, dying of consumption, and my last wish is to play Psychonauts on my XBOX 360!" (Please, try to make up your own disease.)

And yes, that's a real email address! I got it off the Microsoft XBOX 360 Backwards Compatibility FAQ page! And you'll notice they say, "We read every e-mail sent to this address." So, watch your language!

While you wait for a response from them, you should do nothing but stare at the picture above and concentrate as hard as you can until you make make that picture come true with the power of your will! If this actually gives you consumption, then I am truly sorry. But please let me know, because we can use that to our advantage.